October 25, 2008
How to help grandparents get online
Recently, Grammy Tanda and I have been wondering and discussing what all of us can all do to help encourage more grandparents to get online — particularly elderly grandparents. Several of our readers have written insightful comments lately about this concern. They have given examples of grandparents who use computers and technology to connect with their family, and those who don’t. See the discussion -
Connecting with grandchildren: Technology brings instant gratification
Technology-Love-Connection – “Reaching out” using the internet – part two
One reader tells of her 93 year old friend “who is on her computer everyday emailing her family.” Another reader reports that her “94 year old mother will not allow anyone to [help her get] on a computer. If she would, she could see her great-grandkids.”
Perhaps you are a grandparent who is privileged to have one or more of your parents still living. Or maybe you are a parent who would like to facilitate a healthy relationship between your children and their grandparents and great-grandparents. In any case, it’s a fact that many older grandparent are left out when it comes to using the latest communication devices. Sometimes this is of their own doing.
Why doesn’t everybody welcome new technology?
Lack of desire? Lack of knowhow? Lack of money? Fear of the unknown? It couldn’t be stubbornness?
Would you agree that much of the problem has to do with fear? What is it about technology that is so intimidating to some folks?
Throughout history, some folks have been slow to embrace new inventions — the horseless carriage, the automatic washing machine. (Do you know anybody who still had an icebox years afters the refrigerator was invented?) I’m not trying to be critical here, just pointing out human nature.
Is it important for grandparents to accept new technologies for communicating?
We’re not just talking about conveniences that make life a little easier; we’re talking about communicating with our family, with our grandkids! Hey, isn’t that what life is all about — love and family? If technology can help bring our family together, then let’s find ways to use it! Let’s help older folks see what they’re missing out on, and help them get set up.
When we refer to technology here, we mean good technology — newfangled gadgets and devices, websites and services — that can bring joy to families and bring them closer together.
Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight? ~Al Boliska
More readers’ comments: Jody says “Just a little hello via email can really keep your relationship alive.” Joy wrote, “Internet communication [is] great for video calls, sharing pictures, emails, etc. Grandparents need to keep up with the times and communicate with the younger generations on the media the kids are comfortable [using].” Do you agree?
The benefits if communication work both ways. Grandparents have so much wisdom, life experience and love to offer. Grandchildren crave and deserve to know them better. Don’t you think so?
What can we each do to help?
We live in a marvelous age where technology abounds. We need only to find it, adopt it, and enjoy it’s benefits. That’s our mission here at GrandparentsTLC, to help grandparents discover technology and show how to use it.
Often what I’ve seen is that folks just don’t know what they are missing. There have been times that I wanted to convince someone that they just had to try something new, but they resisted. The more they resisted, the harder I tried. (Sound familiar?) I’ve found that it’s better just to show them what they’ve been missing without trying to “sell” them on it. Pretty soon they’ll say, “I want that!” Take a lesson from the car salesman: don’t tell them about the features, show them the benefits. Then let them test drive.
Here’s an idea I was thinking: Take your laptop over to their house. Show them emails from family, digital photos and albums, family sites, etc. Imagine their delight when they say, “Oh, how adorable!” 
We would like you, our dear readers, to help brainstorm solutions by commenting below. Let’s come up with ideas for helping more grandparents get online.
As always, we will continue exploring more websites, digital tools and devices that can have a positive impact on our family relations.
We appreciate you! Grandpa Shayne
Please help us reach more readers by bookmarking or emailing this to a friend!
Filed under Connecting, Grandparents, Internet by Grandpa Shayne
Comments on How to help grandparents get online »
Great points in your article Grampa Shayne! I have helped many grandparents go online over the years and the #1 requirement for helping a senior is investing your time – unrushed time. Go slow – let them try it one click at a time.
I have been admitted to rehab hospital after multiple surgeries for a number of weeks each time. This hospital has a computer room for us to use – and I helped many seniors set up an email on yahoo or hotmail and we would practice everyday sending each other emails. They all went home and bought a computer and one lady even started researching her family tree.
Be willing to invest quality time. The speed that we move the mouse and click all over the screen is very overwhelming – go slooooooow. And soon you will have another excited internet pro in the family!
Many years ago I was a technophobe and the thought of having to use a computer scared me to death. Shayne showing me the cool things to do with technology helped me want to get online. But one thing that was an issue for me was that I guess I am a very concrete thinker. I needed to understand the terms used in technology before I could sort of wrap my mind around it. The other thing that helped was that I soon learned there was very little I could do that would permanently ruin something — like a file or picture — that Shayne couldn’t undo. “Love that undo button!” I am always willing to try new things. Many senior centers, libraries, colleges, etc. offer some classes in basic internet and computer use. Sometimes I think we learn a little easier from someone other than family. That stubborn thing again, I guess.
Grammy Tanda
@GramaBarb – Your advice is excellent. Thank you. It’s wonderful that you have helped so many others get online. Your love for genealogy is obviously contagious; sounds like that one lady caught the “Genealogy bug”!
@Grammy Tanda – Stubborn? Who you?
I appreciate you bringing up the point that folks don’t need to worry about permanently ruining a computer; and also the availability of local classes. You’ve certainly turned into a high-tech Grandma.
Both of you made an excellent point about going slow and being patient. People have complemented me for being able to make difficult concepts easy to understand. Yet sometimes when I’m teaching someone on a computer, I have to catch myself and shift into a lower gear. Just like teaching a teenager how to drive, you don’t want to give them “information overload”.
Free email accounts: I highly recommend a gmail.com account. They are free and don’t have blinking ads. And they have the best spam catchers.
Grandpa Shayne
I had to teach my mother, who is (still) a complete technophobe, how to use email so that she could talk to her kids as we don’t even live in the same country as her any more. Once my father died, she realized that this could open a new world and was willing to give it a shot (people at the funeral kept asking for her email address so they could send her stuff about my father).
Another grandmother told me this story about having her son teach her the computer. He said he was getting frustrated when HE was doing the machine and telling her what to do, which was of course no good and going way too fast for her (as he was doing things she had no idea what he was talking about). For example he said “you do this and that and then hit Return.” So she’s staring at the keyboard looking for “return”. Exasperated, he said v.e.r.y. slowly, “when you learned how to type, how did you move from one line to the next line” and after threatening him with how many hours of labor she went through to bring him into this world, she said “We hit the carriage return arm!” and they burst into laughter.
At that point he realized how much she *didn’t* know that he was taking for granted and was able to establish a repitoire that worked for both (slow & patience)…
antje
Getting grandparents on line. My husband and I are grandparents and love being able to get online and writing e-mails to our grandsons. It is a way to communicate in their language and in their time. We send jokes, cartoons, and notes of love to them.
Now getting my parents online is another subject. My parents refuse to touch a computer. I do not believe there is anything that could be done to get them interested.
I think that grandparents fail to realize that being “computer smart” is a way to get closer to your grandchildren. It is also a way to look up things-to-do with them when they come to visit. And nothing is more fun than playing games online with your grandchildren.
So…grandparents if you are not online…get there. You’re missing alot of fun times with your grandchildren.
What a great story, antje! Certainly illustrates the need to stop and explain the tech. language we use too.
Grandpa Shayne – do you have a keyboard tutorial – explaining the function of all the keys?
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@Antje – Those are good stories. Thanks for sharing them. Why do moms resort to the “hours of labor” stories? I guess they’ve earned the right. LOL.
@Ginger – Thanks for the great advice. Perhaps you should show your parents what they are missing. Show them photos of the grandkids on your computer.
@GramaBarb – Good question.
A good resource for information on using computers and the internet is internet4classrooms.com. Type in the word keyboard into the search field. It will show you results like “Getting the most out of your keyboard”. (I could have given the direct link, but it’s better to know how to search for things.)
Great post Shayne.
I think that grandparents just need more encouragement, and great websites like Grandparents TLC; to help them become more comfortable with “modern” technology.
Once they realize what all this cool stuff can do, to help them connect with their grandchildren – we won’t be able to stop them
tDMg
LdsNana
Hi Grandpa Shayne!
Popped over to say hello and read your latest. How wonderful that you’ve provided so much help and encouragement for grandparents here!
I was first introduced to the internet while my youngest was still at home back in the early 90’s. One thing led to another until I was hooked, but even then I had to go slow.
Now I’m glad! The internet (email, Facebook, Twitter, etc) is a great way to keep up with my kids and grandchildren, as we can touch base quickly or share photos or exchange our Christmas wishlist:-) Even though it was overwhelming in the very beginning, I can’t imagine life without it now. I still have friends and one sister who are resisting the idea of having a computer, mainly because technology intimidates them. The answer is to just proceed at our own pace,but proceed we must if we’re gonna keep up with these newfangled modes of communication:-) Having a computer totally expands our world, and has given me a ministry platform I would have never imagined 20 years ago.
Oh, and I agree with you about Gmail. It’s great.
Blessings,
Vicki
http://windowstomysoul.blogspot.com
http://victoriagaines.com
My mother introduced me to computers back in the 70’s! You can bet that she uses technology to connect with her great-grandkids and her grandkids.
We can count on one hand the number of times she has shared time in the same room with her grandchildren and, now, her great-grandchildrn. Tens of years and thousands of miles separate us all, but she knows each of them – intimately.
She knows her granddaughters and their husbands and is an important part of their lives. We hold it all together with blogging and emails. The oldest grandchild (a five year old) even keeps us up to date on her accomplishments with her own “favorite books blog” and a blog about her favorite activities. The great-and-the-grand-parents interact through the comments space.
I shudder to think of where we would be without the internet and computers.
Great topic, Grandpa Shayne. You just gave me an idea for an enrichment group within the Relief Society Sisters in my ward!
Your blog will be a fabulous resource for me! I got my dad on Facebook–he’s 87! A widower who lives alone and loves the computer. He’s been good support for my blogging. I wrote about him in my blog “Grace and Glory”. I’m proud that at 87 he embraces the new technology, communications, etc. He’s shared much of his early history via email with old friends so I asked him to copy them to me & I’ve printed them out and have 3 large binders so far! His oral (email) history. At 87 he still types better than I do. I’m also passing along a link to your article here so other friends/grandparents my age will start blogging and connect digitally with their grandchildren. Thanks for a great post!
I discovered this wonderful blog yesterday so first thing this morning I sat down to read through everything more thoroughly. I love it! I just wanted to add one more perspective. I’ve been using a computer for 11 years & use email (I especially love Gmail too!) everyday and regularly stay in touch with other grandmas, friends, and older family members. But I’m JUST NOW becoming aware of emailing my grandchildren! It’s funny how programmed we are! We know the young kids are tech-savvy and embrace the digital “stuff” and yet for a few years now I’ve hand-written letters to my grandkids and called them on the phone. They’re still too young to get on Facebook but several of their parents have allowed them to get email. So I’m just now getting into the habit of remembering to email them! I started a blog for my family this week and hope the pre-teens will think to look at it and read it. Hope!
This is a wonderful discussion we have going here. Lots of great ideas. Thanks everyone!
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