Grammy Tanda and I love to spend time with our grandchildren in person, but since most of them live in three other time zones, we don’t get to see them as often as we’d like. So some of our most pleasurable moments are when we are chatting “face to face” over the Internet with our grandkids.

If you enjoy talking with your grandchildren on the phone, you will love video chatting even more! It’s video conferencing software you run on your computer that lets you talk with and see your family. It’s just like in the Jetsons cartoon—live audio and video.

What could be worth more than seeing the grin on your grandchild’s face when they see you talking with them on the screen? They’ll be proud to show you how much they’ve grown and to show off their first missing tooth. Even grandbabies will respond to your voice and smiling countenance.

Somethings are just better communicated face to face, where you can see expressions and gestures. Compared to letters, email and even telephone calls, video calls can make conversations much more interesting and intimate. You’ll have more to talk about, and your grandkids will more easily remember you or your face.

Now watch this video. It’s full of examples and cool ideas for you.

A grandparent’s job is to give positive encouragement; to be a cheerleader and a talent scout. ~Grammy Tanda Packer

Fun things you can do on your video chat: read storybooks and show them the pictures, make up stories, sing, dance, play games, help with their homework, be playful, play peek-a-boo, make funny faces, and tell knock-knock jokes.

Ask your grandkids to sing and read to you, and tell you jokes and stories. Have them show you their drawings, crafts, homework, new clothes, acrobatics and somersaults.

Options for free video chat software

You’ll need a computer, a webcam with a built-in or separate mic, and a broadband Internet connection. Different programs use their own protocols, so you and your family will need to use the same software. Each of the following programs allow you to make video calls worldwide.

iChat from Apple is an application that comes free with every Macintosh. If you have a Mac, iChat is the best software for video chatting. You can even have a video conference with up to 3 other Macs at once. Since it uses the AIM protocol, iChat works well with AIM on other computers.

AIM is an application you can download to your computer. It uses the same protocol as iChat.

Skype is another popular program for making video calls. Download the program and sign up for a free account. Computer-to-computer calls and video calls are free.

Google voice and video chat is integrated into gmail in your web browser. It’s a great option if you and your family have gmail accounts. Anyone can sign up for a free gmail account.

How to get started

1. Choose an application and install it. (Consider what your family may be using.)
2. Launch the program.
3. Create a screen name and password (first time only).
4. Share your screen name with your family.
5. Arrange a time to call.
6. Turn on your webcam.
7. Log in to your chat program.
8. Initiate the video call by clicking the appropriate buttons, or click “Accept” if your family initiates the call.
9. Click the video icon by their name to see their video. (Note: Some programs make you click a button to allow them to see your video.)
10. Enjoy!

Videophones are another option for video conferencing. These are special phones with an LCD screen. No computer is needed, but they need a high-speed Internet connection. You and your family both need the same brand of videophone.

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then live video is worth ten 10,000 words. ~Grandpa Shayne Packer

We know you’ll love video chatting with your grandkids! So go try it.

Enjoy – Grandpa Shayne

We’d like to hear from you. Please comment below to tell us about your videochat. What fun things did you do on the call with your grandkids.

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[This guest post is by Emily Wilberg. Emily is the author of the blog, Stepping Stones: a path to healing after the loss of a child.]

National Children’s Memorial Day is today, December 13th, 2009.

National Children’s Memorial Day takes place each year on the second Sunday of December. It is observed internationally to honor the 80,000 children who die each year. Families around the world light candles at 7:00 p.m. in their local time zones. As candles burn down in one time zone, they are lighted in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe. This remembrance ceremony provides the world with lit candles for an entire 24 hour period in order to honor the children we have lost, the children who lived and died, and who, even in death, continue to live in our hearts.

Join us for this world-wide candlelighting memorial.

Peace -Emily

See Emily Wilberg’s previous article: Grieving the Loss of a Grandchild.

Please fill free to comment below, and to share this post with someone you love.

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[We are pleased to feature Emily Wilberg as a guest writer. Emily’s son, Gabriel, was stillborn at 21 weeks gestation in May 2002. Her husband, Nick, is an illustrator and designer, and the two of them have designed several items for grieving parents and grandparents, including scrapbooking quotes suitable for scrapbooking a baby who has died. She has 4 living children in addition to her angel Gabriel. Emily is the author of the blog, Stepping Stones: a path to healing after the loss of a child. Emily says, "I never thought my life would take this turn. Maybe I had this particular baby (Gabriel) and married this particular man (Nick, an illustrator) in order to do some small good in this world.]“

[October has been designated as "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month", with October 15 as "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day".]

When my son Gabriel was stillborn at 21 weeks we were blindsided. I had no idea that in this age of modern medicine and in a country as prosperous as the United States that babies still died. I thought it was something that only happened in third world counties, or maybe back in the pioneer days. And yet, it does happen. When a baby dies it is hard on the entire family — but I can imagine it is uniquely hard for a grandparent. Not only are you, yourself grieving the loss of your grandbaby, but your own child is hurting as well. What do you do? What CAN you do?

Often people do nothing. It used to be that when a baby died (either before or shortly after birth), the mother was not allowed to hold or see her child. She was told to forget and to try again as soon as possible. Things have changed. It has been discovered that it is better for the healing process if the mom is able to see her baby if possible; for the parents to hold and dress and photograph and name their child. If the baby was lost earlier in the pregnancy the parents may not be able to do even this. But the moment a mom finds out she is expecting she starts making plans for, and loving, her child. A loss at any stage is devastating. To be told to forget and move on can be hurtful; no matter how well intentioned the advice is.

There are support groups to help a family facing this trial. But even though this outside help is important, I often hear that families do not feel supported by those closest to them: their own family members. Part of this is due to differences in how our generations have been told to grieve. Part of it is probably due to the fact that family members are grieving themselves. And part of it, maybe, is that it is just too sad. Too sad to think about and too sad to talk about and certainly too sad to make a particular point to remember. And yet, that is often exactly what grieving parents need, people to remember.

You need to do what is best for you while grieving your grandchild. Nobody grieves the same and there is no straight path for healing from this loss. But it is also important to reach out to your child.

How can you help your child who has lost a baby?

Listen. Let us talk. Let us cry. Ask to hear our baby’s story and ask what we named our child. Refer to them by name. Our child’s name is precious to us; we treasure an engraved ornament or even something as simple as writing our baby’s name in a card to let us know you are thinking about us both.

Holidays can be particularly hard. Understand if the parents may not be up to big family celebrations at this time. If you do have a family dinner, a possible tradition to start is to have a toast to remember all missing family members not at the table with you. You can also make a donation to a worthy cause or do a service project in your grandchild’s name.

Technology can help families pull together in times of trial — there are many ways. Send emails often. Take advantage of inexpensive long distance to call frequently — with mobile phones, or iChat, or Internet phones such as Skype and Vonage. Use reminder services for special occasions like the ones available at flowers.com and electronic greeting cards.

The Internet brings our world closer together and makes multiple resources available that may not be available in your immediate community. There are many online resources and support groups for families grieving the loss of a child. There are even specific sites for grieving grandparents. I have listed a few helpful sites below.

Aloha Sand Photos is a recent project I have started with my sister is to take a photo of a child’s name written in the sand and post a photo of it on our blog. I am in Maryland and she is in Hawaii, and the names come from all over the world. One grateful parent recently sent me an email stating, “I love technology. I can simply do this… and photos can come across the world from Hawaii. I am grateful. It has brought me into a very sorrowful yet hopeful club of parents with children who grew wings far too early.”

God sends children to enlarge our hearts, and make us unselfish and full of kindly sympathies and affections. ~Mary Howitt

Thank you to Grandpa Shayne for letting me write this guest post on his blog. I am sorry this topic is needed at all, and yet, I am thankful to be allowed to share my experience it in the hopes it will bring comfort to someone else. I hope today is gentle for you.

Peace -Emily (Gabriel’s mom)

Online Resources

• Aloha Remembered Blog: Have your grandchild’s name written in the sand and a photo posted on their blog.
• Stepping Stones: a path to healing after the loss of a child is a good general blog for finding helpful information.
• Stepping Stones article: Common Signs of Grief
• Grieving Grandparents Bereavement Support Article
• Grandparent Grief pamphlet from the SIDS network
• The Grief of Grandparents article by Compassionate Friends
• Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Article by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D
• Healing Hearts: Support for Grieving Grandparents Email Penpals
• Remembering Our Angels: Gifts and ribbons for purchase.

Do you have any thoughts or ideas about helping grandparents and parents heal after the loss of a child? We welcome your comments.

Please share this post with someone you love.

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Happy Grandparents Day 2009 to all of our readers who are grandparents.

And for you readers who are privileged to have your grandparents still here, welcome to our blog. We hope you will find inspiration and ideas to show your grandparents just how much you cherish them; how much they mean to you. We encourage you to help your grandparents learn about technology and the Internet so they will feel comfortable and excited to use these tools to communicate and connect with their family. See our other posts, including “How to help grandparents get online“.

About National Grandparents Day…

Grandparents Day is a United States secular holiday, celebrated on the first Sunday after Labor Day. Marian H. McQuade is recognized as the founder Grandparents Day, and the first national Grandparent’s Day was celebrated in 1978. See Wikipedia and Grandparents-Day.com.

A fun cartoon a friend drew for me…

Thanks Marvin!

Some favorite grandparent quotes…

It is as grandmothers that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace. ~Christopher Morley

Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old. ~Mary H. Waldrip

Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS. ~Gene Perret

Some of our favorite books for Grandparents

Free certificates to print for your special Grandma or Grandpa

We hope you’ve enjoyed this Grandparents Day tribute to grandparents. As always, we welcome your comments. How do you plan to celebrate Grandparents Day?

- Grandpa Shayne

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So let’s say your grandchildren are coming to your house for a visit. They might want to “play” on your computer. Whoa! Wait! Is it secure? What if they inadvertently download a virus or delete a file? Is it safe? What if they accidentally land on a webpage on “the dark side” of the Internet? How can you keep your grandkids safe online?

Are you worried that your grandkids may accidently see something online that would be harmful to them?

Have you set up a safe environment for your grandchildren?

There are two concerns here. 1. Protecting your computer: keeping your hardware, software, files, documents, and bookmarks secure. 2. Protecting your grandkids: creating a safe environment for them that prevents them from accessing inappropriate content on Internet websites.

So let’s discuss some of these potential problems here in part one of this article. Then in part two, we will outline a plan — what you can do to protect your computer and your grandchildren, and alleviate your concerns.

Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?  ~Al Boliska

The Internet is a wonderful place for children to explore — lot’s of interesting sites, interactive games and activities, educational resources, etc. But like the real world, there are places on the Internet that are inappropriate for children. You’ve probably heard and thought about potential dangers for kids online. So, when your grandchildren come to visit, your computer needs to be safe. How do we help our grandkids get the most of this virtual cyberspace, while keeping them safe in it?

Over the years, I have personally used various techniques for protecting my computers and my children, and now my grandchildren. Since threats change with new technologies and modern computers, I have had to stay on top of the solutions. But the basic problems are always the same: bad people trying to do bad things to me and my family and to my computers. The basic solutions remain the same also: keep ahead of the bad guys. Install a shield between you and your computers, and the bad guys.

Now, I’m not trying to be paranoid. It’s like locking your front door at night. You don’t have to obsess over all the potential evil out there. You just lock it to be safe, and you don’t worry about it.

Throughout history, parents and grandparents have been concerned for the safety of their children and teenagers. It seems even more challenging the ever with new types of media and gadgets — radio, TV, music, computers, the Internet, mobile phones, iPods, iPhone…. But we can’t follow children everywhere, holding an umbrella over their heads. We need to teach them how to avoid the dangers in the world.

There are certain activities on the Internet that some adults participate in that are not appropriate for children, and other areas that are suitable for some children and not for others.

Pornography — there is sexually-explicit material on the Internet that it is not appropriate for children to view it or seek it out. And search engine results for innocent topics may occasionally include links to inappropriate websites. Email can be a potential problem, with sexually-explicit spam.

Sexual predators try to disguise themselves as a young person in order to befriend and attract children.

Don’t despair! Even though there are potential dangers on the Internet, it is fairly easy to create a secure environment for your family. In part two, you will find steps you can follow to help ensure that your grandchildren have a positive experience online.

- Shayne

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

We’d like to hear from you. What things do you do to keep your computer safe for children?

Technorati Tags: computers, family, grandchild, Grandchildren, grandparent, Internet, technology