Grammy Tanda and I love to spend time with our grandchildren in person, but since most of them live in three other time zones, we don’t get to see them as often as we’d like. So some of our most pleasurable moments are when we are chatting “face to face” over the Internet with our grandkids.

If you enjoy talking with your grandchildren on the phone, you will love video chatting even more! It’s video conferencing software you run on your computer that lets you talk with and see your family. It’s just like in the Jetsons cartoon—live audio and video.

What could be worth more than seeing the grin on your grandchild’s face when they see you talking with them on the screen? They’ll be proud to show you how much they’ve grown and to show off their first missing tooth. Even grandbabies will respond to your voice and smiling countenance.

Somethings are just better communicated face to face, where you can see expressions and gestures. Compared to letters, email and even telephone calls, video calls can make conversations much more interesting and intimate. You’ll have more to talk about, and your grandkids will more easily remember you or your face.

Now watch this video. It’s full of examples and cool ideas for you.

A grandparent’s job is to give positive encouragement; to be a cheerleader and a talent scout. ~Grammy Tanda Packer

Fun things you can do on your video chat: read storybooks and show them the pictures, make up stories, sing, dance, play games, help with their homework, be playful, play peek-a-boo, make funny faces, and tell knock-knock jokes.

Ask your grandkids to sing and read to you, and tell you jokes and stories. Have them show you their drawings, crafts, homework, new clothes, acrobatics and somersaults.

Options for free video chat software

You’ll need a computer, a webcam with a built-in or separate mic, and a broadband Internet connection. Different programs use their own protocols, so you and your family will need to use the same software. Each of the following programs allow you to make video calls worldwide.

iChat from Apple is an application that comes free with every Macintosh. If you have a Mac, iChat is the best software for video chatting. You can even have a video conference with up to 3 other Macs at once. Since it uses the AIM protocol, iChat works well with AIM on other computers.

AIM is an application you can download to your computer. It uses the same protocol as iChat.

Skype is another popular program for making video calls. Download the program and sign up for a free account. Computer-to-computer calls and video calls are free.

Google voice and video chat is integrated into gmail in your web browser. It’s a great option if you and your family have gmail accounts. Anyone can sign up for a free gmail account.

How to get started

1. Choose an application and install it. (Consider what your family may be using.)
2. Launch the program.
3. Create a screen name and password (first time only).
4. Share your screen name with your family.
5. Arrange a time to call.
6. Turn on your webcam.
7. Log in to your chat program.
8. Initiate the video call by clicking the appropriate buttons, or click “Accept” if your family initiates the call.
9. Click the video icon by their name to see their video. (Note: Some programs make you click a button to allow them to see your video.)
10. Enjoy!

Videophones are another option for video conferencing. These are special phones with an LCD screen. No computer is needed, but they need a high-speed Internet connection. You and your family both need the same brand of videophone.

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then live video is worth ten 10,000 words. ~Grandpa Shayne Packer

We know you’ll love video chatting with your grandkids! So go try it.

Enjoy – Grandpa Shayne

Announcement: This post is part of a blog carnival hosted by Susan Adcox, About.com’s Guide to Grandparents.

We’d like to hear from you. Please comment below to tell us about your videochat. What fun things did you do on the call with your grandkids.

If you like this post, please share it here…

[Editor's note: Grandpa Shayne Packer is also a columnist for GRAND Magazine's new Cyber-Savvy GRAND column.]

“You’ll never get me on one of them newfangled computers!” Have you ever heard a grandparent say that? Are they intimidated by the Internet? Not willing to give today’s technology a try? We’ll show you what you can do to get them online.

Who should read this

• Grandparents who are privileged to have one or more of your parents still living.
• Parents who would like to facilitate a healthy relationship between your children and their grandparents and great-grandparents.
• Anyone who knows a grandmother or grandfather who is reluctant or afraid to dip their foot into the internet.

Technophobia: the fear or dislike of advanced technology. Why doesn’t everybody welcome new technology? Fear of the unknown? Afraid they will ruin or break something? They don’t understand and don’t remember?

One problem is that many senior grandparents just don’t know what they are missing — photos of the grandbabies, emails, family blogs, Facebook, text messages, video chats, sharing their life story. They are not enjoying all the new opportunities to communicate with their families; sometimes from their own stubbornness.

The benefits outweigh the fear

A friend shared a story about a coworker, a grandfather who refused to learn to send text messages using his mobile phone. My friend encouraged the grandfather to learn so he could send text messages to his grandchildren. “Just try it.” Two weeks later, the grandfather reported that he was having a wonderful time texting with his grandkids.

Grandparents need to keep up with the times and communicate with the younger generations on the media the kids are comfortable using. This will enhance the quality of the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren when they may not actually see each other for many months.

Grandparents should realize that being “computer smart” is a way to get closer to their grandchildren. Also, the World Wide Web is a wonderful way to find ideas of things to do with grandkids when they visit.

My oldest sister is a great example of someone who has embraced internet technology to connect with her family. When her daughter recently encouraged my sister to get Facebook, she quibbled, “Why would I want on Facebook?” Here daughter simply replied, “Because that’s where the photos of the grandbabies are!”

So her daughter got on the computer and set up a Facebook account right then. Now my sister has really enjoys Facebook, as well as other websites, email, etc.

God gave us loving grandchildren as a reward for all our random acts of kindness. ~Janet Lanese

3 steps to get grandparents online

1. Sit together at the computer and give them a tour around the Web — all the fun family stuff they’re missing out on. First, you drive. This is especially important for the reluctant grandparent. Do this before you let them know you intend to help them get online. Let them get hooked first.

2. Set up one website at a time for them, and let them know what you are doing (in simple terms). See the Recommended websites below.

3. For each website, put them in the driver’s seat. Let them try things one click at a time. Go slow. Be patient. Go through it twice: first for comprehension, second to create written step-by-step instructions. If needed, go through it a third time to help build their confidence.

You can help enrich a grandparent’s life. Now go do it!

Enjoy! – Grandpa Shayne

Action Items

• Help them choose a computer. I recommend an Apple Macintosh laptop because it is so easy to use and comes with cool, free software.
• Set up a free gmail account.
• Collect a list of family websites and blogs.
• Create accounts on Facebook or other sites where the family posts stuff.
• Create easy-to-remember login names and passwords, and write them down.
• Bookmark all websites. Show them how to access these bookmarks.
• Set them up a free blog or their own on WordPress.com or Blogger.com. (optional)
• If they have a digital camera, show them how to post photos online.

Recommended websites

• Gmail.com
• Facebook.com
• MyFamily.com
• StoryOfMyLife.com
• ScrapBlog.com

More resources

• Our other blog posts about connecting with grandchildren
• Another post “How to help grandparents get online“
• Many senior centers, libraries, colleges, etc. offer classes in basic internet and computer use.

If you know someone who is not online, please print and mail this to them.

Do you have more ideas for helping more grandparents get online? We welcome your comments.

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So let’s say your grandchildren are coming to your house for a visit. They might want to “play” on your computer. Whoa! Wait! Is it secure? What if they inadvertently download a virus or delete a file? Is it safe? What if they accidentally land on a webpage on “the dark side” of the Internet? How can you keep your grandkids safe online?

Are you worried that your grandkids may accidently see something online that would be harmful to them?

Have you set up a safe environment for your grandchildren?

There are two concerns here. 1. Protecting your computer: keeping your hardware, software, files, documents, and bookmarks secure. 2. Protecting your grandkids: creating a safe environment for them that prevents them from accessing inappropriate content on Internet websites.

So let’s discuss some of these potential problems here in part one of this article. Then in part two, we will outline a plan — what you can do to protect your computer and your grandchildren, and alleviate your concerns.

Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?  ~Al Boliska

The Internet is a wonderful place for children to explore — lot’s of interesting sites, interactive games and activities, educational resources, etc. But like the real world, there are places on the Internet that are inappropriate for children. You’ve probably heard and thought about potential dangers for kids online. So, when your grandchildren come to visit, your computer needs to be safe. How do we help our grandkids get the most of this virtual cyberspace, while keeping them safe in it?

Over the years, I have personally used various techniques for protecting my computers and my children, and now my grandchildren. Since threats change with new technologies and modern computers, I have had to stay on top of the solutions. But the basic problems are always the same: bad people trying to do bad things to me and my family and to my computers. The basic solutions remain the same also: keep ahead of the bad guys. Install a shield between you and your computers, and the bad guys.

Now, I’m not trying to be paranoid. It’s like locking your front door at night. You don’t have to obsess over all the potential evil out there. You just lock it to be safe, and you don’t worry about it.

Throughout history, parents and grandparents have been concerned for the safety of their children and teenagers. It seems even more challenging the ever with new types of media and gadgets — radio, TV, music, computers, the Internet, mobile phones, iPods, iPhone…. But we can’t follow children everywhere, holding an umbrella over their heads. We need to teach them how to avoid the dangers in the world.

There are certain activities on the Internet that some adults participate in that are not appropriate for children, and other areas that are suitable for some children and not for others.

Pornography — there is sexually-explicit material on the Internet that it is not appropriate for children to view it or seek it out. And search engine results for innocent topics may occasionally include links to inappropriate websites. Email can be a potential problem, with sexually-explicit spam.

Sexual predators try to disguise themselves as a young person in order to befriend and attract children.

Don’t despair! Even though there are potential dangers on the Internet, it is fairly easy to create a secure environment for your family. In part two, you will find steps you can follow to help ensure that your grandchildren have a positive experience online.

- Shayne

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

We’d like to hear from you. What things do you do to keep your computer safe for children?

Recently, Grammy Tanda and I have been wondering and discussing what all of us can all do to help encourage more grandparents to get online — particularly elderly grandparents. Several of our readers have written insightful comments lately about this concern. They have given examples of grandparents who use computers and technology to connect with their family, and those who don’t. See the discussion -

Connecting with grandchildren: Technology brings instant gratification

Technology-Love-Connection – “Reaching out” using the internet – part two

One reader tells of her 93 year old friend “who is on her computer everyday emailing her family.” Another reader reports that her “94 year old mother will not allow anyone to [help her get] on a computer. If she would, she could see her great-grandkids.”

Perhaps you are a grandparent who is privileged to have one or more of your parents still living. Or maybe you are a parent who would like to facilitate a healthy relationship between your children and their grandparents and great-grandparents. In any case, it’s a fact that many older grandparent are left out when it comes to using the latest communication devices. Sometimes this is of their own doing.

Why doesn’t everybody welcome new technology?

Lack of desire? Lack of knowhow? Lack of money? Fear of the unknown? It couldn’t be stubbornness?

Would you agree that much of the problem has to do with fear? What is it about technology that is so intimidating to some folks?

Throughout history, some folks have been slow to embrace new inventions — the horseless carriage, the automatic washing machine. (Do you know anybody who still had an icebox years afters the refrigerator was invented?) I’m not trying to be critical here, just pointing out human nature.

Is it important for grandparents to accept new technologies for communicating?

We’re not just talking about conveniences that make life a little easier; we’re talking about communicating with our family, with our grandkids! Hey, isn’t that what life is all about — love and family? If technology can help bring our family together, then let’s find ways to use it! Let’s help older folks see what they’re missing out on, and help them get set up.

When we refer to technology here, we mean good technology — newfangled gadgets and devices, websites and services — that can bring joy to families and bring them closer together.

Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?  ~Al Boliska

More readers’ comments: Jody says “Just a little hello via email can really keep your relationship alive.” Joy wrote, “Internet communication [is] great for video calls, sharing pictures, emails, etc. Grandparents need to keep up with the times and communicate with the younger generations on the media the kids are comfortable [using].” Do you agree?

The benefits if communication work both ways. Grandparents have so much wisdom, life experience and love to offer. Grandchildren crave and deserve to know them better. Don’t you think so?

What can we each do to help?

We live in a marvelous age where technology abounds. We need only to find it, adopt it, and enjoy it’s benefits. That’s our mission here at GrandparentsTLC, to help grandparents discover technology and show how to use it.

Often what I’ve seen is that folks just don’t know what they are missing. There have been times that I wanted to convince someone that they just had to try something new, but they resisted. The more they resisted, the harder I tried. (Sound familiar?) I’ve found that it’s better just to show them what they’ve been missing without trying to “sell” them on it. Pretty soon they’ll say, “I want that!” Take a lesson from the car salesman: don’t tell them about the features, show them the benefits. Then let them test drive.

Here’s an idea I was thinking: Take your laptop over to their house. Show them emails from family, digital photos and albums, family sites, etc. Imagine their delight when they say, “Oh, how adorable!”

We would like you, our dear readers, to help brainstorm solutions by commenting below. Let’s come up with ideas for helping more grandparents get online.

As always, we will continue exploring more websites, digital tools and devices that can have a positive impact on our family relations.

We appreciate you! Grandpa Shayne

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