Grammy Tanda and I love to spend time with our grandchildren in person, but since most of them live in three other time zones, we don’t get to see them as often as we’d like. So some of our most pleasurable moments are when we are chatting “face to face” over the Internet with our grandkids.

If you enjoy talking with your grandchildren on the phone, you will love video chatting even more! It’s video conferencing software you run on your computer that lets you talk with and see your family. It’s just like in the Jetsons cartoon—live audio and video.

What could be worth more than seeing the grin on your grandchild’s face when they see you talking with them on the screen? They’ll be proud to show you how much they’ve grown and to show off their first missing tooth. Even grandbabies will respond to your voice and smiling countenance.

Somethings are just better communicated face to face, where you can see expressions and gestures. Compared to letters, email and even telephone calls, video calls can make conversations much more interesting and intimate. You’ll have more to talk about, and your grandkids will more easily remember you or your face.

Now watch this video. It’s full of examples and cool ideas for you.

A grandparent’s job is to give positive encouragement; to be a cheerleader and a talent scout. ~Grammy Tanda Packer

Fun things you can do on your video chat: read storybooks and show them the pictures, make up stories, sing, dance, play games, help with their homework, be playful, play peek-a-boo, make funny faces, and tell knock-knock jokes.

Ask your grandkids to sing and read to you, and tell you jokes and stories. Have them show you their drawings, crafts, homework, new clothes, acrobatics and somersaults.

Options for free video chat software

You’ll need a computer, a webcam with a built-in or separate mic, and a broadband Internet connection. Different programs use their own protocols, so you and your family will need to use the same software. Each of the following programs allow you to make video calls worldwide.

iChat from Apple is an application that comes free with every Macintosh. If you have a Mac, iChat is the best software for video chatting. You can even have a video conference with up to 3 other Macs at once. Since it uses the AIM protocol, iChat works well with AIM on other computers.

AIM is an application you can download to your computer. It uses the same protocol as iChat.

Skype is another popular program for making video calls. Download the program and sign up for a free account. Computer-to-computer calls and video calls are free.

Google voice and video chat is integrated into gmail in your web browser. It’s a great option if you and your family have gmail accounts. Anyone can sign up for a free gmail account.

How to get started

1. Choose an application and install it. (Consider what your family may be using.)
2. Launch the program.
3. Create a screen name and password (first time only).
4. Share your screen name with your family.
5. Arrange a time to call.
6. Turn on your webcam.
7. Log in to your chat program.
8. Initiate the video call by clicking the appropriate buttons, or click “Accept” if your family initiates the call.
9. Click the video icon by their name to see their video. (Note: Some programs make you click a button to allow them to see your video.)
10. Enjoy!

Videophones are another option for video conferencing. These are special phones with an LCD screen. No computer is needed, but they need a high-speed Internet connection. You and your family both need the same brand of videophone.

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then live video is worth ten 10,000 words. ~Grandpa Shayne Packer

We know you’ll love video chatting with your grandkids! So go try it.

Enjoy – Grandpa Shayne

Announcement: This post is part of a blog carnival hosted by Susan Adcox, About.com’s Guide to Grandparents.

We’d like to hear from you. Please comment below to tell us about your videochat. What fun things did you do on the call with your grandkids.

If you like this post, please share it here…

[This guest post is by Emily Wilberg. Emily is the author of the blog, Stepping Stones: a path to healing after the loss of a child.]

National Children’s Memorial Day is today, December 13th, 2009.

National Children’s Memorial Day takes place each year on the second Sunday of December. It is observed internationally to honor the 80,000 children who die each year. Families around the world light candles at 7:00 p.m. in their local time zones. As candles burn down in one time zone, they are lighted in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe. This remembrance ceremony provides the world with lit candles for an entire 24 hour period in order to honor the children we have lost, the children who lived and died, and who, even in death, continue to live in our hearts.

Join us for this world-wide candlelighting memorial.

Peace -Emily

See Emily Wilberg’s previous article: Grieving the Loss of a Grandchild.

Please fill free to comment below, and to share this post with someone you love.

[We are pleased to feature Emily Wilberg as a guest writer. Emily’s son, Gabriel, was stillborn at 21 weeks gestation in May 2002. Her husband, Nick, is an illustrator and designer, and the two of them have designed several items for grieving parents and grandparents, including scrapbooking quotes suitable for scrapbooking a baby who has died. She has 4 living children in addition to her angel Gabriel. Emily is the author of the blog, Stepping Stones: a path to healing after the loss of a child. Emily says, "I never thought my life would take this turn. Maybe I had this particular baby (Gabriel) and married this particular man (Nick, an illustrator) in order to do some small good in this world.]“

[October has been designated as "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month", with October 15 as "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day".]

When my son Gabriel was stillborn at 21 weeks we were blindsided. I had no idea that in this age of modern medicine and in a country as prosperous as the United States that babies still died. I thought it was something that only happened in third world counties, or maybe back in the pioneer days. And yet, it does happen. When a baby dies it is hard on the entire family — but I can imagine it is uniquely hard for a grandparent. Not only are you, yourself grieving the loss of your grandbaby, but your own child is hurting as well. What do you do? What CAN you do?

Often people do nothing. It used to be that when a baby died (either before or shortly after birth), the mother was not allowed to hold or see her child. She was told to forget and to try again as soon as possible. Things have changed. It has been discovered that it is better for the healing process if the mom is able to see her baby if possible; for the parents to hold and dress and photograph and name their child. If the baby was lost earlier in the pregnancy the parents may not be able to do even this. But the moment a mom finds out she is expecting she starts making plans for, and loving, her child. A loss at any stage is devastating. To be told to forget and move on can be hurtful; no matter how well intentioned the advice is.

There are support groups to help a family facing this trial. But even though this outside help is important, I often hear that families do not feel supported by those closest to them: their own family members. Part of this is due to differences in how our generations have been told to grieve. Part of it is probably due to the fact that family members are grieving themselves. And part of it, maybe, is that it is just too sad. Too sad to think about and too sad to talk about and certainly too sad to make a particular point to remember. And yet, that is often exactly what grieving parents need, people to remember.

You need to do what is best for you while grieving your grandchild. Nobody grieves the same and there is no straight path for healing from this loss. But it is also important to reach out to your child.

How can you help your child who has lost a baby?

Listen. Let us talk. Let us cry. Ask to hear our baby’s story and ask what we named our child. Refer to them by name. Our child’s name is precious to us; we treasure an engraved ornament or even something as simple as writing our baby’s name in a card to let us know you are thinking about us both.

Holidays can be particularly hard. Understand if the parents may not be up to big family celebrations at this time. If you do have a family dinner, a possible tradition to start is to have a toast to remember all missing family members not at the table with you. You can also make a donation to a worthy cause or do a service project in your grandchild’s name.

Technology can help families pull together in times of trial — there are many ways. Send emails often. Take advantage of inexpensive long distance to call frequently — with mobile phones, or iChat, or Internet phones such as Skype and Vonage. Use reminder services for special occasions like the ones available at flowers.com and electronic greeting cards.

The Internet brings our world closer together and makes multiple resources available that may not be available in your immediate community. There are many online resources and support groups for families grieving the loss of a child. There are even specific sites for grieving grandparents. I have listed a few helpful sites below.

Aloha Sand Photos is a recent project I have started with my sister is to take a photo of a child’s name written in the sand and post a photo of it on our blog. I am in Maryland and she is in Hawaii, and the names come from all over the world. One grateful parent recently sent me an email stating, “I love technology. I can simply do this… and photos can come across the world from Hawaii. I am grateful. It has brought me into a very sorrowful yet hopeful club of parents with children who grew wings far too early.”

God sends children to enlarge our hearts, and make us unselfish and full of kindly sympathies and affections. ~Mary Howitt

Thank you to Grandpa Shayne for letting me write this guest post on his blog. I am sorry this topic is needed at all, and yet, I am thankful to be allowed to share my experience it in the hopes it will bring comfort to someone else. I hope today is gentle for you.

Peace -Emily (Gabriel’s mom)

Online Resources

• Aloha Remembered Blog: Have your grandchild’s name written in the sand and a photo posted on their blog.
• Stepping Stones: a path to healing after the loss of a child is a good general blog for finding helpful information.
• Stepping Stones article: Common Signs of Grief
• Grieving Grandparents Bereavement Support Article
• Grandparent Grief pamphlet from the SIDS network
• The Grief of Grandparents article by Compassionate Friends
• Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Article by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D
• Healing Hearts: Support for Grieving Grandparents Email Penpals
• Remembering Our Angels: Gifts and ribbons for purchase.

Do you have any thoughts or ideas about helping grandparents and parents heal after the loss of a child? We welcome your comments.

Please share this post with someone you love.

[Editor's note: Grandpa Shayne Packer is also a columnist for GRAND Magazine's new Cyber-Savvy GRAND column.]

“You’ll never get me on one of them newfangled computers!” Have you ever heard a grandparent say that? Are they intimidated by the Internet? Not willing to give today’s technology a try? We’ll show you what you can do to get them online.

Who should read this

• Grandparents who are privileged to have one or more of your parents still living.
• Parents who would like to facilitate a healthy relationship between your children and their grandparents and great-grandparents.
• Anyone who knows a grandmother or grandfather who is reluctant or afraid to dip their foot into the internet.

Technophobia: the fear or dislike of advanced technology. Why doesn’t everybody welcome new technology? Fear of the unknown? Afraid they will ruin or break something? They don’t understand and don’t remember?

One problem is that many senior grandparents just don’t know what they are missing — photos of the grandbabies, emails, family blogs, Facebook, text messages, video chats, sharing their life story. They are not enjoying all the new opportunities to communicate with their families; sometimes from their own stubbornness.

The benefits outweigh the fear

A friend shared a story about a coworker, a grandfather who refused to learn to send text messages using his mobile phone. My friend encouraged the grandfather to learn so he could send text messages to his grandchildren. “Just try it.” Two weeks later, the grandfather reported that he was having a wonderful time texting with his grandkids.

Grandparents need to keep up with the times and communicate with the younger generations on the media the kids are comfortable using. This will enhance the quality of the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren when they may not actually see each other for many months.

Grandparents should realize that being “computer smart” is a way to get closer to their grandchildren. Also, the World Wide Web is a wonderful way to find ideas of things to do with grandkids when they visit.

My oldest sister is a great example of someone who has embraced internet technology to connect with her family. When her daughter recently encouraged my sister to get Facebook, she quibbled, “Why would I want on Facebook?” Here daughter simply replied, “Because that’s where the photos of the grandbabies are!”

So her daughter got on the computer and set up a Facebook account right then. Now my sister has really enjoys Facebook, as well as other websites, email, etc.

God gave us loving grandchildren as a reward for all our random acts of kindness. ~Janet Lanese

3 steps to get grandparents online

1. Sit together at the computer and give them a tour around the Web — all the fun family stuff they’re missing out on. First, you drive. This is especially important for the reluctant grandparent. Do this before you let them know you intend to help them get online. Let them get hooked first.

2. Set up one website at a time for them, and let them know what you are doing (in simple terms). See the Recommended websites below.

3. For each website, put them in the driver’s seat. Let them try things one click at a time. Go slow. Be patient. Go through it twice: first for comprehension, second to create written step-by-step instructions. If needed, go through it a third time to help build their confidence.

You can help enrich a grandparent’s life. Now go do it!

Enjoy! – Grandpa Shayne

Action Items

• Help them choose a computer. I recommend an Apple Macintosh laptop because it is so easy to use and comes with cool, free software.
• Set up a free gmail account.
• Collect a list of family websites and blogs.
• Create accounts on Facebook or other sites where the family posts stuff.
• Create easy-to-remember login names and passwords, and write them down.
• Bookmark all websites. Show them how to access these bookmarks.
• Set them up a free blog or their own on WordPress.com or Blogger.com. (optional)
• If they have a digital camera, show them how to post photos online.

Recommended websites

• Gmail.com
• Facebook.com
• MyFamily.com
• StoryOfMyLife.com
• ScrapBlog.com

More resources

• Our other blog posts about connecting with grandchildren
• Another post “How to help grandparents get online“
• Many senior centers, libraries, colleges, etc. offer classes in basic internet and computer use.

If you know someone who is not online, please print and mail this to them.

Do you have more ideas for helping more grandparents get online? We welcome your comments.

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Do you like surfing the web to find articles and tips about grandparenting? There’s a lot of useful information on the WWW. Grandpa Shayne and I are always looking for fun way to connect with the grandkids. We’ve collected some of our favorite Halloween web pages for grandparents.

Halloween is a wonderful time to share with the family. It’s especially fun to see the grandkids all dressed up in their favorite costumes. Here’s a photo of our 6 month old grandbaby in the cute costume I bought at 60% off. Hey, I’m like my mom, always looking for a bargain!

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween. ~Erma Bombeck

I teach family and consumer science, I’ve always admired Erma Bombeck. She was such a practical homemaker.

Shayne is a Cub Master, and one of his Weblos is a budding artist named Zac Willberg. He draws comics and publishes them on Zac’s Cartoon Cave blog. Shayne commissioned Zac to draw a special comic strip for today’s Halloween post. Boo is the main character (a ghost). Ancient is his girlfriend (a mummy). Today, there’s a special guest appearance by Boo’s Grandma.

Halloweenies by Zac Willberg

One of our favorite cartoons by Zac is his Charlie Brown Halloween.

Before you leave, be sure to subscribe to our Grandparents TLC feed.

Favorite family-friendly web pages with ideas for grandparents

Nana’s Corner – Halloween recipes and poems

Nana Finds – Special halloween books for grandchildren and Ideas for homemade Halloween costumes

Joan Adams – collection of fun Halloween songs and lyrics. (Joan says “I hope you all have as much fun with this site as I have! We love to sing with the grandchildren! Our two are 5 and 6 years old, so they are the perfect age for learning all the fun Halloween favorites! Enjoy!”)

Grandma Ideas – Halloween ideas for grandchildren

Grandmother Wren - Family Alternatives to Halloween

SandwichINK – Sharing God’s Love on Halloween

LoveMyGrandchild – Halloween ideas

FamilyCorner – Lots of Halloween ideas

ParentHacks – Best Parent Hacks (tips and ideas that work for grandparents too)

GroupCard – Free Halloween ecards (the whole family can sign an ecard)

Bluemountain – Free Halloween ecards (free month trial)

DLTK’s Crafts for Kids – Halloween Activities for Children (halloween coloring pages, printables, worksheets, craft projects, games and puzzles, online games, pumpkin carving patterns, recipes)

Babble – Just in Time for Halloween: How to Make Your Own Slime

Radiant Ideas – Tips for going green this Halloween

What are some of your favorite Halloween web pages? You are welcome to add your family-friendly link in your comment.

Have a fun Halloween! – Grammy Tanda

Hey, I’m on twitter now!

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