[This guest post is by Emily Wilberg. Emily is the author of the blog, Stepping Stones: a path to healing after the loss of a child.]

National Children’s Memorial Day is today, December 13th, 2009.

National Children’s Memorial Day takes place each year on the second Sunday of December. It is observed internationally to honor the 80,000 children who die each year. Families around the world light candles at 7:00 p.m. in their local time zones. As candles burn down in one time zone, they are lighted in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe. This remembrance ceremony provides the world with lit candles for an entire 24 hour period in order to honor the children we have lost, the children who lived and died, and who, even in death, continue to live in our hearts.

Join us for this world-wide candlelighting memorial.

Peace -Emily

See Emily Wilberg’s previous article: Grieving the Loss of a Grandchild.

Please fill free to comment below, and to share this post with someone you love.

[Today's guest writer is Yvonne Perry. Yvonne is a freelance writer and editor, award-winning Amazon.com bestselling author, podcast host, blogger extraordinaire, newsletter publisher, Internet marketing guru, and an outstanding keynote speaker. She is a graduate of American Institute of Holistic Theology where she earned a Bachelor of Science in Metaphysics.]

I was completely out of the mold when I made my mother a grandmother when she was only 39 years old. Most people in my graduating class were college bound and weren’t thinking of starting a family, but I was ready to be a wife-and-a-mother (one word). For some reason, I had the goal of being a teenage mom. I met that goal when I gave birth to my son only three weeks before I turned twenty. But, Mom never complained about being made into a granny. Like me, she was glad to have a little one around again.

These days, it seems like couples aren’t waiting as long before starting a family as they once did. It has become the norm for folks to become grandparents in their early forties. I became a grandmother when I was only 40 years old. That’s when my son and his wife gave me the blessing of Sidney.

When a child is born, so are grandmothers. ~Judith Levy

Sidney has been a joy since day one. He began staying overnight at my house as soon as he was weaned. We have enjoyed many outings together. We’ve gone to the circus, the museum, the holistic fair, flea markets, shopping malls, restaurants, and the zoo. We’ve seen Dora the Explorer twice at Tennessee Performing Arts Center, visited several parks and playgrounds, gone canoeing, watched lots of movies, taken out-of-state road trips, and made our annual summer trip to Nashville Shores water park. I have step-grandchildren that I also enjoy spending time with, but since they live in another state eight hours away, I don’t get to color and do arts and crafts with them as often as I’d like.

Being a grandparent at an early age gives me a chance to be kid again while I can still fit in the park swings, climb the rope feature, and fly down the sliding board without throwing up. My grandkids keep me young. That’s why I was so excited to find out that I was getting a new shipment from the stork in 2009. This year I’ve been blessed with four new grandsons: Lochlan in April, Liam in June, Jonas in July, and Payton in October. My kids never have to ask twice or worry that I’m too busy to keep their babies when they need a break. I’m glad to steal all those hugs and kisses and I don’t even mind changing a dirty diaper or getting in the floor to be on their level. I had my husband get the baby equipment down from the attic so I could set up a crib in the spare bedroom. Every time I go shopping, I look for new baby stuff.

With Sidney being my first biological grandson and the only grandchild near me for many years, I have to admit I’ve been a tad biased toward him. I wrote a series of stories for him starting when he was three years old. In them, I related some of the things we did together and mentioned the insight he has brought me. Now that Sid is almost nine years old, he helps me write the stories. I finally published our book titled The Sid Series ~ A Collection of Holistic Stories for Children. It’s available at TheSidSeries.com. Come on by and take a look inside the book—a feature provided by freado.com.

That’s another thing about being a young grandparent, I’m in touch with the latest technology and have most of the gadgets that the younger generation plays with—except for a Playstation, Game Cube, or Guitar Hero—much to Sid’s disappointment. My mom has video games at her house. I have two computers at my house and Sidney has his own folder on my PC, complete with his bookmarked and favorite Web sites.

Sidney is so grown now, that I was able to interview him on my podcast to talk about The Sid Series. How’s that for technology and young age grandparenting?

- Yvonne Perry

If you like this post, please share it here…

Don’t you just love photos of your grandkids? Did you know you can use your digital photos to make unique holiday gifts for your family? Wouldn’t you agree that homemade gifts are more enjoyable to create than buying store-bought presents? It’s economical. And your family and grandchildren will cherish them even more.

I’ll show you how to create your own fun video of your grandkids—as jolly little elves! It’s easier than you might think. They are free to use and free share with your family and friends.

“Snowball fight!” created with JibJab.com

Click on the little Play triangle below.

Try JibJab.comSendables® eCards today!

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. ~Kahlil Gibran

I enjoy discovering innovative websites. I surf the Net with my “Grandparent eyeglasses” on, looking for fascinating, easy-to-use places where I can produce fun creations for my grandchildren. I ask myself, “How can this website be useful to me and other grandparents?” (What’s in it for me?) These websites spark my imagination, and I think how exciting it would be to design something for my grandkids to enjoy.

There are many really cool websites on the Internet you can use to connect with your grandkids by creating entertaining projects for them. I wrote about some of these in December’s Cyber-Savvy GRAND column in GRAND Magazine. Sites to develop projects from your digital photos, like Scrapblog and SmileBox. Sites for photo sharing, like Picasa, Kodak Gallery, SnapFish and ShutterFly. (Read our Picasa review here.)

Dancing Coo Coo Clock elves created with ElfYourself.com

Let’s look at two websites where you can create videos starring your grandchildren: JibJab.comand ElfYourself.com.

I created the two videos above at JibJab.com and ElfYourself.com. The ElfYourself site is powered by JibJab’s innovative software. They employ the latest technologies such as face recognition.

ElfYourself from OfficeMax is a whimsical online program that allows you to create videos of elves dancing—with your grandchildren as the stars of the show. Simply upload  the photos you want to use, adjust the face to fit (size, outline, and rotation), choose a ready-to-use dance, and click the button. It quickly produces your video. You can post it on your blog or family site, and email the link for free. If you like, you can download the movie for $4.99. (Note: ElfYourself is only available during the holiday season.)

JibJab has a variety of ready-to-make videos, pictures and ecards. Some are free. Some require a $12.00 annual membership. Downloads are $4.99, or only $1.99 with a membership. The steps to build a video at JibJab.com are similar to the way described above. You upload photos to create “heads” (faces). You choose the video, movie, or picture to make. Try a JibJab Risk FREE Trial!

JibJab’s Photo-Maker lets you create fun still pictures like this one.

At ElfYourself.com and JibJab.comyou can also purchase other products like mugs, ornaments, greeting cards, etc — all with your picture on them.

So go make some videos of yourself or your grandkids. Give a video or picture to them as a merry little gift. They will enjoy seeing it over and over again. It’s sure to have the whole family giggling with delight.

In future posts, GrandparentsTLC will review more websites to create fun stuff for your grandchildren.

Enjoy! – Grandpa Shayne

Have you used JibJab or ElfYourself or another cool online program? How has it enabled you to connect with your family and grandkids? Please share your comments. We enjoy reading about your experiences.

If you like this post, please click the Share button or email it to your friends!
Also, please subscribe to our blog to get future articles delivered to you for free.

[We are pleased to feature Emily Wilberg as a guest writer. Emily’s son, Gabriel, was stillborn at 21 weeks gestation in May 2002. Her husband, Nick, is an illustrator and designer, and the two of them have designed several items for grieving parents and grandparents, including scrapbooking quotes suitable for scrapbooking a baby who has died. She has 4 living children in addition to her angel Gabriel. Emily is the author of the blog, Stepping Stones: a path to healing after the loss of a child. Emily says, "I never thought my life would take this turn. Maybe I had this particular baby (Gabriel) and married this particular man (Nick, an illustrator) in order to do some small good in this world.]“

[October has been designated as "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month", with October 15 as "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day".]

When my son Gabriel was stillborn at 21 weeks we were blindsided. I had no idea that in this age of modern medicine and in a country as prosperous as the United States that babies still died. I thought it was something that only happened in third world counties, or maybe back in the pioneer days. And yet, it does happen. When a baby dies it is hard on the entire family — but I can imagine it is uniquely hard for a grandparent. Not only are you, yourself grieving the loss of your grandbaby, but your own child is hurting as well. What do you do? What CAN you do?

Often people do nothing. It used to be that when a baby died (either before or shortly after birth), the mother was not allowed to hold or see her child. She was told to forget and to try again as soon as possible. Things have changed. It has been discovered that it is better for the healing process if the mom is able to see her baby if possible; for the parents to hold and dress and photograph and name their child. If the baby was lost earlier in the pregnancy the parents may not be able to do even this. But the moment a mom finds out she is expecting she starts making plans for, and loving, her child. A loss at any stage is devastating. To be told to forget and move on can be hurtful; no matter how well intentioned the advice is.

There are support groups to help a family facing this trial. But even though this outside help is important, I often hear that families do not feel supported by those closest to them: their own family members. Part of this is due to differences in how our generations have been told to grieve. Part of it is probably due to the fact that family members are grieving themselves. And part of it, maybe, is that it is just too sad. Too sad to think about and too sad to talk about and certainly too sad to make a particular point to remember. And yet, that is often exactly what grieving parents need, people to remember.

You need to do what is best for you while grieving your grandchild. Nobody grieves the same and there is no straight path for healing from this loss. But it is also important to reach out to your child.

How can you help your child who has lost a baby?

Listen. Let us talk. Let us cry. Ask to hear our baby’s story and ask what we named our child. Refer to them by name. Our child’s name is precious to us; we treasure an engraved ornament or even something as simple as writing our baby’s name in a card to let us know you are thinking about us both.

Holidays can be particularly hard. Understand if the parents may not be up to big family celebrations at this time. If you do have a family dinner, a possible tradition to start is to have a toast to remember all missing family members not at the table with you. You can also make a donation to a worthy cause or do a service project in your grandchild’s name.

Technology can help families pull together in times of trial — there are many ways. Send emails often. Take advantage of inexpensive long distance to call frequently — with mobile phones, or iChat, or Internet phones such as Skype and Vonage. Use reminder services for special occasions like the ones available at flowers.com and electronic greeting cards.

The Internet brings our world closer together and makes multiple resources available that may not be available in your immediate community. There are many online resources and support groups for families grieving the loss of a child. There are even specific sites for grieving grandparents. I have listed a few helpful sites below.

Aloha Sand Photos is a recent project I have started with my sister is to take a photo of a child’s name written in the sand and post a photo of it on our blog. I am in Maryland and she is in Hawaii, and the names come from all over the world. One grateful parent recently sent me an email stating, “I love technology. I can simply do this… and photos can come across the world from Hawaii. I am grateful. It has brought me into a very sorrowful yet hopeful club of parents with children who grew wings far too early.”

God sends children to enlarge our hearts, and make us unselfish and full of kindly sympathies and affections. ~Mary Howitt

Thank you to Grandpa Shayne for letting me write this guest post on his blog. I am sorry this topic is needed at all, and yet, I am thankful to be allowed to share my experience it in the hopes it will bring comfort to someone else. I hope today is gentle for you.

Peace -Emily (Gabriel’s mom)

Online Resources

• Aloha Remembered Blog: Have your grandchild’s name written in the sand and a photo posted on their blog.
• Stepping Stones: a path to healing after the loss of a child is a good general blog for finding helpful information.
• Stepping Stones article: Common Signs of Grief
• Grieving Grandparents Bereavement Support Article
• Grandparent Grief pamphlet from the SIDS network
• The Grief of Grandparents article by Compassionate Friends
• Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Article by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D
• Healing Hearts: Support for Grieving Grandparents Email Penpals
• Remembering Our Angels: Gifts and ribbons for purchase.

Do you have any thoughts or ideas about helping grandparents and parents heal after the loss of a child? We welcome your comments.

Please share this post with someone you love.

So let’s say your grandchildren are coming to your house for a visit. They might want to “play” on your computer. Whoa! Wait! Is it secure? What if they inadvertently download a virus or delete a file? Is it safe? What if they accidentally land on a webpage on “the dark side” of the Internet? How can you keep your grandkids safe online?

Are you worried that your grandkids may accidently see something online that would be harmful to them?

Have you set up a safe environment for your grandchildren?

There are two concerns here. 1. Protecting your computer: keeping your hardware, software, files, documents, and bookmarks secure. 2. Protecting your grandkids: creating a safe environment for them that prevents them from accessing inappropriate content on Internet websites.

So let’s discuss some of these potential problems here in part one of this article. Then in part two, we will outline a plan — what you can do to protect your computer and your grandchildren, and alleviate your concerns.

Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?  ~Al Boliska

The Internet is a wonderful place for children to explore — lot’s of interesting sites, interactive games and activities, educational resources, etc. But like the real world, there are places on the Internet that are inappropriate for children. You’ve probably heard and thought about potential dangers for kids online. So, when your grandchildren come to visit, your computer needs to be safe. How do we help our grandkids get the most of this virtual cyberspace, while keeping them safe in it?

Over the years, I have personally used various techniques for protecting my computers and my children, and now my grandchildren. Since threats change with new technologies and modern computers, I have had to stay on top of the solutions. But the basic problems are always the same: bad people trying to do bad things to me and my family and to my computers. The basic solutions remain the same also: keep ahead of the bad guys. Install a shield between you and your computers, and the bad guys.

Now, I’m not trying to be paranoid. It’s like locking your front door at night. You don’t have to obsess over all the potential evil out there. You just lock it to be safe, and you don’t worry about it.

Throughout history, parents and grandparents have been concerned for the safety of their children and teenagers. It seems even more challenging the ever with new types of media and gadgets — radio, TV, music, computers, the Internet, mobile phones, iPods, iPhone…. But we can’t follow children everywhere, holding an umbrella over their heads. We need to teach them how to avoid the dangers in the world.

There are certain activities on the Internet that some adults participate in that are not appropriate for children, and other areas that are suitable for some children and not for others.

Pornography — there is sexually-explicit material on the Internet that it is not appropriate for children to view it or seek it out. And search engine results for innocent topics may occasionally include links to inappropriate websites. Email can be a potential problem, with sexually-explicit spam.

Sexual predators try to disguise themselves as a young person in order to befriend and attract children.

Don’t despair! Even though there are potential dangers on the Internet, it is fairly easy to create a secure environment for your family. In part two, you will find steps you can follow to help ensure that your grandchildren have a positive experience online.

- Shayne

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

We’d like to hear from you. What things do you do to keep your computer safe for children?