“You’ll never get me on one of them newfangled computers!” Have you ever heard a grandparent say that? Are they intimidated by the Internet? Not willing to give today’s technology a try? We’ll show you what you can do to get them online.

Who should read this

• Grandparents who are privileged to have one or more of your parents still living.
• Parents who would like to facilitate a healthy relationship between your children and their grandparents and great-grandparents.
• Anyone who knows a grandmother or grandfather who is reluctant or afraid to dip their foot into the internet.

Technophobia: the fear or dislike of advanced technology. Why doesn’t everybody welcome new technology? Fear of the unknown? Afraid they will ruin or break something? They don’t understand and don’t remember?

One problem is that many senior grandparents just don’t know what they are missing — photos of the grandbabies, emails, family blogs, Facebook, text messages, video chats, sharing their life story. They are not enjoying all the new opportunities to communicate with their families; sometimes from their own stubbornness.

The benefits outweigh the fear

A friend shared a story about a coworker, a grandfather who refused to learn to send text messages using his mobile phone. My friend encouraged the grandfather to learn so he could send text messages to his grandchildren. “Just try it.” Two weeks later, the grandfather reported that he was having a wonderful time texting with his grandkids.

Grandparents need to keep up with the times and communicate with the younger generations on the media the kids are comfortable using. This will enhance the quality of the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren when they may not actually see each other for many months.

Grandparents should realize that being “computer smart” is a way to get closer to their grandchildren. Also, the World Wide Web is a wonderful way to find ideas of things to do with grandkids when they visit.

My oldest sister is a great example of someone who has embraced internet technology to connect with her family. When her daughter recently encouraged my sister to get Facebook, she quibbled, “Why would I want on Facebook?” Here daughter simply replied, “Because that’s where the photos of the grandbabies are!”

So her daughter got on the computer and set up a Facebook account right then. Now my sister has really enjoys Facebook, as well as other websites, email, etc.

God gave us loving grandchildren as a reward for all our random acts of kindness. ~Janet Lanese

3 steps to get grandparents online

1. Sit together at the computer and give them a tour around the Web — all the fun family stuff they’re missing out on. First, you drive. This is especially important for the reluctant grandparent. Do this before you let them know you intend to help them get online. Let them get hooked first.

2. Set up one website at a time for them, and let them know what you are doing (in simple terms). See the Recommended websites below.

3. For each website, put them in the driver’s seat. Let them try things one click at a time. Go slow. Be patient. Go through it twice: first for comprehension, second to create written step-by-step instructions. If needed, go through it a third time to help build their confidence.

You can help enrich a grandparent’s life. Now go do it!

Enjoy! – Grandpa Shayne

Action Items

• Help them choose a computer. I recommend an Apple Macintosh laptop because it is so easy to use and comes with cool, free software.
• Set up a free gmail account.
• Collect a list of family websites and blogs.
• Create accounts on Facebook or other sites where the family posts stuff.
• Create easy-to-remember login names and passwords, and write them down.
• Bookmark all websites. Show them how to access these bookmarks.
• Set them up a free blog or their own on WordPress.com or Blogger.com. (optional)
• If they have a digital camera, show them how to post photos online.

Recommended websites

• Gmail.com
• Facebook.com
• MyFamily.com
• StoryOfMyLife.com
• ScrapBlog.com

More resources

• Our other blog posts about connecting with grandchildren
• Another post “How to help grandparents get online“
• Many senior centers, libraries, colleges, etc. offer classes in basic internet and computer use.

If you know someone who is not online, please print and mail this to them.

Do you have more ideas for helping more grandparents get online? We welcome your comments.

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All I really need to know I learned from my Grandmother. ~Charles E. Smoot

One of the favorite gifts I have received from my adult children took me be surprise. The gift was a journal titled “Lessons I Have Learned.” They pointed out the kind of impact I had had upon them. They had filled in the first few pages — each of them writing about lessons they had learned from me that have been valuable to them — with the idea that I would finish filling in the journal with lessons I’ve learned. You know, preserving some of that hard earned wisdom we adults are always claiming we have.

Even though of my own grandmother died when I was young, I remember visiting her. I remember feeling her love for me. She always made me feel accepted for who I was and made me feel welcome and wanted in her home.

This year, I encourage you to take a few moments and write down some of those gems of wisdom you have learned from your grandmother. If she is still alive, you will surprise and delight her. Or share them with the special people in your life: your grandchildren, children, or parents.

By sharing the lessons that you have learned from your grandmother, you will not only validate her, but you’ll also let her know of ways she has helped you that she may never have realized. This can be a more personal and touching gift than a dozen roses or another knickknack.

What are some of the valuable lessons you have learned from your grandmother? We look forward to reading your comments.

Wishing a happy Mother’s Day to each of our dear readers, mothers, and grandmothers.

- Grammy Tanda

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Rules for making your nomination

• The nominee must be a real person, a grandmother; and someone who is your own grandmother, or “adopted” grandmother, mother, or wife; who you know personally. (Either still living, or passed on.)
• One entry per comment. If you want to nominate more than one of your grandmothers, create separate comments for each.
• No men allowed! Sorry, this time it’s just for grandmas.
• You must tell why your grandmother deserves to win your Grammy Award. And don’t just say because you love her or she’s nice. Come on. Be specific. Give us details. Use as many tautologically long-winded ramblings as you like. Hey, no need to be brief here. Superfluously interminable wordiness is fine. Go ahead and write with pleonastically redundant verbosity.
• Be gushy and mushy if you want, but be real and tell the truth. Your grandma may seem like Superwoman to you, but can she really fly?

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~Marcy DeMaree

Get a free certificate for your Grammy

Here’s the deal. We will email you a certificate that you can print or email to your grammy. (Don’t worry. The email you enter in the comment form below will not visible on the page.) When you write your nomination in a comment below, be sure to include her title and name as you want it printed. (Example “Grammy Tanda Packer”).

So nominate your grandma now. Have fun! Comments are now closed.

- Grandpa Shayne

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Connecting with grandchildren: Technology brings instant gratification

Technology-Love-Connection – “Reaching out” using the internet – part two

One reader tells of her 93 year old friend “who is on her computer everyday emailing her family.” Another reader reports that her “94 year old mother will not allow anyone to [help her get] on a computer. If she would, she could see her great-grandkids.”

Perhaps you are a grandparent who is privileged to have one or more of your parents still living. Or maybe you are a parent who would like to facilitate a healthy relationship between your children and their grandparents and great-grandparents. In any case, it’s a fact that many older grandparent are left out when it comes to using the latest communication devices. Sometimes this is of their own doing.

Why doesn’t everybody welcome new technology?

Lack of desire? Lack of knowhow? Lack of money? Fear of the unknown? It couldn’t be stubbornness?

Would you agree that much of the problem has to do with fear? What is it about technology that is so intimidating to some folks?

Throughout history, some folks have been slow to embrace new inventions — the horseless carriage, the automatic washing machine. (Do you know anybody who still had an icebox years afters the refrigerator was invented?) I’m not trying to be critical here, just pointing out human nature.

Is it important for grandparents to accept new technologies for communicating?

We’re not just talking about conveniences that make life a little easier; we’re talking about communicating with our family, with our grandkids! Hey, isn’t that what life is all about — love and family? If technology can help bring our family together, then let’s find ways to use it! Let’s help older folks see what they’re missing out on, and help them get set up.

When we refer to technology here, we mean good technology — newfangled gadgets and devices, websites and services — that can bring joy to families and bring them closer together.

Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?  ~Al Boliska

More readers’ comments: Jody says “Just a little hello via email can really keep your relationship alive.” Joy wrote, “Internet communication [is] great for video calls, sharing pictures, emails, etc. Grandparents need to keep up with the times and communicate with the younger generations on the media the kids are comfortable [using].” Do you agree?

The benefits if communication work both ways. Grandparents have so much wisdom, life experience and love to offer. Grandchildren crave and deserve to know them better. Don’t you think so?

What can we each do to help?

We live in a marvelous age where technology abounds. We need only to find it, adopt it, and enjoy it’s benefits. That’s our mission here at GrandparentsTLC, to help grandparents discover technology and show how to use it.

Often what I’ve seen is that folks just don’t know what they are missing. There have been times that I wanted to convince someone that they just had to try something new, but they resisted. The more they resisted, the harder I tried. (Sound familiar?) I’ve found that it’s better just to show them what they’ve been missing without trying to “sell” them on it. Pretty soon they’ll say, “I want that!” Take a lesson from the car salesman: don’t tell them about the features, show them the benefits. Then let them test drive.

Here’s an idea I was thinking: Take your laptop over to their house. Show them emails from family, digital photos and albums, family sites, etc. Imagine their delight when they say, “Oh, how adorable!”

We would like you, our dear readers, to help brainstorm solutions by commenting below. Let’s come up with ideas for helping more grandparents get online.

As always, we will continue exploring more websites, digital tools and devices that can have a positive impact on our family relations.

We appreciate you! Grandpa Shayne

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There’s a tiny little plaque sitting on my shelf that reads:

If I’d have known that grandchildren were going to be so much fun, I’d have had them first. ~Bill Laurin

Grandma Henke and family

How much better can it get than having 17 grandchildren? Being a grandmother has been the best thing since the invention of penicillin … not that I was around that long ago … but you get the drift. It took about a minus twenty seconds for me to be madly in love with the squirmy little bodies that came to this earth yelling for their NaNa. But, of course, with all the good there had to come some bad and that took place when two of my children moved from Utah to Seattle with half of my litter. I don’t think I would have survived the empty feeling in my heart had I not had the powers of the Internet, cellular phones, and a new digital camera that didn’t even take film!

The magic of those three items has taken an unbearable situation for this Grandma and sort of (not quite but sort of) erased some of those hundreds of miles that separate us.

When my son and his wife had their first little baby girl (six weeks early) while students at the University of Utah I was in the middle of an audit at work and there was no way I could dash up there in time for the welcome to our family celebrations. I sat at my desk anxious to hear everything was fine with mother and baby when I got a flash indicating I had mail. I clicked on the box and suddenly there before my eyes was a moving, true to life picture of our little girl kicking her arms and legs and crying loudly. I can’t begin to explain the thrill that went through me just before the tears of gratitude started pouring down my cheeks. I didn’t have to miss it after all.

Nothing thrills me more than to get a beep from one of my grandchildren – an instant message on my computer. The older kids and I have real life conversations. With the younger kids it goes something like this:

Luca: Hi Grandma, XOXOXOXOXO HAHAHAHAHA

Me: Hi Luca! I love you too, XOXOXOXOXO, HAHAHAHAHA

[XOXO = hugs and kisses] Luca then sends me all kinds of icons of smiley faces, dancing pigs, and broken hearts.

I love it … we are communicating and having fun. Sometimes we tell knock knock jokes.

My older grandchildren from Seattle have also talked me into adding text messaging to my phone so they could send me little messages. (They are now unaccustomed to talking on the phone as their fingers are so used to doing the walking). Typing on a cellular phone keyboard isn’t my favorite mode of communication but you have to keep up if you want to stay in touch with on the go teenagers.

We send photographs back and forth all the time, by email, instant messenger, or telephone. It keeps us in close contact and helps so much with the homesickness on both sides. I was unable to attend Luca’s 3rd piano recital after having been there for her first two. As soon as they got home her dad sent me the video and there she was … just as pretty and proud and smart as can be … playing her little heart out. I was so proud of her!

When my first baby was tiny my husband was stationed in Georgia in the Army. It took two weeks to send a letter and get an answer. I wished so many times Mom could see the cute and unique things he did every day. We took pictures but had to wait until we’d used the whole roll, then send them off to be developed … then make doubles of the ones we wanted to send. It wasn’t a very fast turn around. I feel so lucky to have instant gratification when it comes to staying in touch with my children and grandchildren. My motivation for learning about the new technology is because it keeps me close to my family but there are many other benefits as well. Nothing like trying to learn a new trick even if you are an old dog.

There is one more thing I do for my grandchildren that I probably would not do otherwise. I get on the Internet and find the cheapest airplane tickets I can find that will take me from here to there with no layovers.

Grandma Henke

Visit GrandmaHenke’s blog.

We want to here from you. What do you do for your grandchildren that you would not otherwise do? Please leave a comment below. 

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